How 'I' Became 'We'

FYI this post is super long but not all posts will be like this. It's our beginning so that should be worth reading. I broke it up into sections for those bored, busy, ADHD, or dyslexic.

Background

2015 - 2016 was a rough set of years. That’s when I got in my car accident and lost 3 feet of my intestines (another post coming up). After I somewhat got back on my feet, I went to my grandparents ranch in Montana in order to take advantage of my grandmother’s wisdom of nutrition and my grandfather’s wisdom of hard-work and rebuilding muscle. This was in September 2015, and in January of 2016 I reunited with my family in Amarillo, Texas after my dad went through a couple job changes. Here is where I was chosen within my church group to be the one to take care of the church’s missionaries that were sent to the area. We had ‘sisters’ the entire time I was there and one of them that passed through in the beginning of 2017 was Maryelena, at that time known as Sister Melendez.

And he was just “Nate the Branch Mission Leader” who was funny and really great at helping us bring people into the church. I always thought he’d be a pretty fun and good friend to have though.

We didn’t like each other or anything. It was strictly business and when I moved to Utah to further my education we didn’t contact each other at all.

He followed up and kept track of some of the other sister missionaries and I had just heard about his progress in Utah here and there, definitely never expected anything or ever thinking we would be friends when I got home. I honestly presumed he didn’t really like me lol.

Utah Meetup

Most of the sisters that moved through the area friend requested me on facebook and added me when they got home. Maryelena approved my friend request on December 19th and I asked if she wanted to hangout PURELY to see if she was doing alright with the change from mission life to home life. We went to Wendy’s I got a sugar cookie and chicken nuggets, and we sat and chatted about everything mission related.

To give you any kind of context, I was still wearing a skirt when I first saw him after the mission haha, I hadn’t found my normal people clothes yet. So that was a bit...awkward. And after that night, he asked me to hangout the next day again and the next day after that. I seriously was just thinking at that point how great it was to have someone from Texas to talk to and relate to. Coming home from a mission is a pretty hard and lonely adjustment even with all my wonderful family around me.

We lost touch over Christmas break spending time with our families and on the first day of school she needed help finding a place at UVU. Naturally, I came to the rescue and we began hanging out and doing homework everyday since then. We both began dating different people, to illustrate the fact that we DID NOT like each other. Maryelena started having feelings for me and broke it off with her guy (I was a little more considerate, didn’t want to lead anyone on) but I was still figuring out the girl I was dating. (yet he spent every waking moment with me so imagine my confusion during this time. If he spends all his days and time with me and enjoys me that much, why would he be dating someone else?)

In my defense Nathan was a very attentive and sweet friend and let me tell you, anyone would have had a hard time not falling for him. Lol. He is quite the charmer. Let me give you an example, how can you not fall in love with a boy who won’t stop talking about how much he loves your eyes. I mean...come on!

I wasn’t sure what was going on. In this time we hung out literally every day. We also went on two very long road trips with over 52 hours in the car together on one, completely platonic mind you. We went through so many difficult times together and became best of friends. There were no late-night make out sessions or “oopsie daisy” moments of hormonal desire. We were simply best friends and did everything together. (But there were many comforting cuddles and over attentiveness for me, “the girl he had no feelings for” … very interesting)

Things get interesting

On the night of mother’s day at like 1 a.m. she texted me because she was worried about her mother because she hadn’t replied to phone calls from anyone in the family. I lived nearby so I offered to drive over and check on her. When I did, my now mother-in-law, lured me in with a treat and a sweet smile and we ended up having a 3 hour conversation about who I was and what her daughter meant to me.

I was on the other side being told that my mom was talking to this boy that I had feeling for ALONE and if anyone knows my mom, you know that is a very dangerous situation.

Maryelena ended up driving up there right away and getting all the information I had told her mother INCLUDING the information I told her was strictly between us. I didn’t expect her to keep it from her but I didn’t expect it to be so soon!

When I knew he was gone, I drove to my mom’s and I snuggled up with her and begged her to tell me what he has said, that’s when she let me know that he had broken up with the girl he had been dating and had informed her that he saw us being friends for a very long time. EXCUSE ME??? I was ready to give up and to take a break from the boy that had consumed my life and my heart.

I was confused and wasn’t ready for commitment but didn’t want to tell Maryelena because I was afraid our relationship might change. Also in my head were all those stupid rules you learn about dating while you’re a teenager “you should wait before you call, you shouldn’t have a rebound girlfriend, you should avoid serious topics.” I was worried my feelings for her could possibly be rebound feelings, like now I don’t have someone that kisses me who can fill that role? I knew she had no plans to wait around for something to happen. She was a go getter and never slowed down for semantics. (Umm wouldn’t anyone…?)

We kept hanging out but we definitely had more real conversations. At this point she had come to terms with her feelings for me but I was still putting pieces together in my head. Here I had this girl that I would do anything for, anything in the world for but within that same girl was my best friend whom I didn’t want to lose in any way, shape, or form. I kept these feelings to myself which was selfish. (Ummm...yeah) She actually contacted my bishop, the leader of my church congregation, to ask for advice on whether or not I was worth pursuing and where my thoughts were at. I had shared my feelings about her with him. I would speak to him on Sundays casually about my week’s events. I would tell him about the two maybe three dates or activities that I went to with the girl was seeing and then he would ask about Maryelena and I wouldn’t stop talking. I told him all about her, every funny, wild, cementing, experience we had together. He would look at me with this crazy look and ask me “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS OTHER GIRL WHEN YOU LOVE MARYELENA?!” He was right. And I told him that I had no idea. Stuck in my head were the rules about how to date and what to do and when to do it so much so that I couldn’t or wouldn’t move forward with any lasting decision.

Love was in the air

There was a point where she told me she needed space and we went two days without talking and it was torture for both of us. I didn’t leave her alone, I couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine a life without her. I was kind of a jerk about it though. Then right after the “2 day break” we went four-wheeling together!

Try not falling in love with a boy as you rife on the back of a four wheeler through the mud...almost impossible haha. I went home after that day and told my roommate that I knew I was in love with him, I had never really admitted to it or said it out loud. I knew. It was a pretty great feeling, but his uncertainty was wearing my patience thin lol.

So we spoke with my bishop and he kind of opened the floor by sharing the things we had both told him in private into the public so we both knew more about what the other was thinking. He suggested we go home, put our arms around each other, and tell each other how we really felt about one another. That was very difficult to do. It was a few hours long no thanks to me but it was helpful. She once again asked what was wrong with me, why was I waiting, what was I waiting for, all that. She was very upset and confused by me and rightly so. A few weeks later after a trip to the temple and her impatience getting worse, I told her I wasn’t trying to figure out if we should begin dating I was trying to figure out if we should be married.

Imagine my absolute surprise and my entire face going blank. Here I was thinking this boy didn’t really love me or want me. Here I was waiting. I thought we would date for a few months and if it worked out great and if not, oh well. This kid had been thinking for weeks now about us getting MARRIED. WHAT???? I was floored to say the least and so insanely giddy inside. He did love in care for me...now it was just time to wait a little longer. (Now looking back, I find it insane that I went along with this the whole time without even stopping him and saying that I wanted to date him first haha. But at the time and even now I just knew he was it. He was all I ever wanted.

(Recently I had a wake up call on who she was to me and everything she would be now and in the future. And I wanted that. I wanted her. Once again I didn’t come outright and say it). This kind of blind-sided her but it put things to rest for a little bit. During this time I was trying to figure out how to reach her father to ask for his permission. He lives in California but he knew about me and was fond of mine and Maryelena’s relationship so I wasn’t too worried. (My Dad is an insanely nice guy so I knew he wouldn’t give Nathan a hard time, he is one lucky son in law lol)

Taking action

Instead I chose to call up her oldest brother who had been a very father-like figure in her life. He had helped her out with a place, watched over her while dad wasn’t there, that kind of stuff. We talked about it, he pointed out the concerns he had, helped me to think about some things more deeply, and then he approved. I called her Dad a few days later when I realized there was no way I could go do it in person as I wanted to originally, I asked for his permission to marry her (Later we went to California before we got married so I could officially meet him). I proposed on June 20th, 2018. Her grandmother had passed away a few days prior and I chose to propose on the day of her viewing (pretty bad timing, we know...we all know) .

Proposal

I put tons of effort into creating the perfect moment for us like most guys do but there was tons of random complications. But I couldn’t wait any longer, I was worried she’d leave me for real. (Understandably...lol) So I figured give me an hour, I’ll crank it out, we’ll be engaged, go to the viewing, bing bang boom and I’ve got the rest of my life figured out. So I took her up into one of my favorite trails to go #streamocking (yes that’s my hashtag, please use it if you decide to go sometime). #Streamocking is when you put on an old pair of shoes, converse or what have you, and trek up the river until you find two good trees on either shoreline and you can tie up and hang in the wallowing brook beneath you. I prefer to hang barely in the water with a waterproof hammock so it kind of rocks me into submission. (Fyi he told me to wear trashy clothes, for those girls out there who want to look adorable...including me...lol, be prepared)

I made sure that she had her nails done because I know girls want to make sure their hands are beautiful when that ring is slipped on.

I had absolutely no idea this was going to happen. I had thought it was and then when he asked me to wear crumby clothes and was doing it before my grandmothers viewing. I thought. “There is no way!” And he kept taking me up further and further and wasting more and more time...or so I thought…

Anyways, I walked her up the stream, protecting her from spiders the whole way, to a sweet natural rock bridge where I proposed in the water underneath.

The guitarist sat above playing our song and his girlfriend and her brother recorded the occurrence. Away from the ear of the microphone I told her all I promised to be and do if she would be mine. I slipped the ring on, kissed her for the first time (amazing) and then we rushed to the viewing!

It was probably the happiest moment of my life thus far. I thought it was such a coincidence our friends were there...till I realized what was happening. Lol. It was perfect. The ugly clothes and the day and the unpreparedness didn’t matter one bit in that moment when he promised me the sweetest things and asked me to be his wife forever. The handmade ring also was pretty dang adorable. He kissed me for the first time that day too. It was a pretty dang good day. We made it to the viewing in time and all was well.

The ring I made

(I cut the ring from a large slab of paint that I had ripped off the cars at Cadillac Ranch. I shaped it so be her size, and polished it until it shined. It wasn’t the diamond ring that most girls like to see at their engagement but it meant more to both of us than any other shiny rock ever could.)

Over the next two months she and I successfully planned and carried out an amazing wedding and reception with the help of both our families. August 15th we were married in the Manti LDS Temple for “time and all eternity” and have been having a blast ever since. It was a rollercoaster of emotions from square one but it was positively the best and most worthwhile journey I ever experienced and I look forward to the adventures that await us around every turn. And we’re excited to share and experience them with you as well.

The ring that will stay there forever